That Time Stormer Got Reely Sick
by AllieGee
Summary: When one of the Misfits falls ill, it's up to Roxy to save the day. As told and typed! by a newly-literate Roxanne Pelligrini.


Zeroninety and I decided to each write a story on the same theme to see how different they might be. The theme: "Stormer gets sick." Feel free to contribute one of your own. (Sorry, Stormer!)

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That Time Stormer Got Reely Sick & I Dam Neer Killd Her

By Roxanne Pelligrini

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RING went the phone & I ran to get it but it was the same ol fucker who called me 2 times in a row heavy breethin & shit!

FUCK YOU I said to the phone. Dont call this number again!

There was this weerd hacking sound with the breethin this time & I herd a girls voice croak out my name. Roxy?

Shit, Stormer? That you? I asked. Of course it was her with the little raspy voice made worst by some kinda sickness.

Coff, coff, coff she went & tryin to say something. I could hardly tell what.

What? I asked her loudly cuz she clearly couldnt hear me enuf to anser rite. I never herd her sound so shitty ever & it was makin me kinda nervis.

She was coff coffing again, sayin something about the key. Did I have the key.

I said yea I have the key to your place, you want me to come over or what?

Please she said & it was the 1 word she said I could under stand.

Im comin over Stormer, ok? Im leavin rite now.

So thats how I ended up drivin over to Stormers bunglo that day. I parked & was bangin on the door for a minnit before I rembered about the key. Guess she wanted me to let myself in.

Stormers the cleanest one of us 4 so when I saw the dishes piled up in the sink in the kitchen I knew it was bad.

Stormer? Hey its me Roxy! I said.

It wasnt hard to find her cuz I followed the sounds of the coff coff coffing into Stormers room & there she was. Well there was a pile of blankets like a mountain on the bed & I could hardly see her under it all but I did see blue hair against the white sheets.

Hey whassamatter Stormer? You alive in there or what?

She made some sad noise at me.

I pulled the covers off her face & finally got a look at her but what I noticed first was the sheets were wet! & so was she! Gross! Her pjamas were all soaked & her hair. She musta fell asleep in her makeup cuz there was red smeered on her face & her pillo.

I touched her face like the nurses do in the movies & I said Jesus Stormer! Your burning up! Her skin was very hot & she was shaking like she was cold or sumthin.

This is fucked up Stormer, how long you been like this?

Yesterday I got worse she said coffing. She put a hand over her eyes like the lite was too brite for em. I havent been up & around since yesterday.

You kidding me? You eat anything?

No she said.

I looked at her & I hadnt seen her in 5 days cuz she said she felt bad & couldnt make it to rehersall. & I swear to you she looked skinnyer in just those 5 days.

We 3 didnt take it too serius that Stormer canselled rehersall on us cuz she sometimes gets sick. & not like Pizzazz when SHE gets sick cuz sick always means hung over for Pizzazz! Dont tell her I told you! HA!

So like I was sayin there was Stormer lookin like complete SHIT & having no food in her at all in 2 days! I asked her, You been takin any medesin or what?

No she said. I dont have any.

You shoulda called sooner was all I said. I was pissed at her. But its hard to be pissed at somebuddy when shes lookin at you all mizrabul. Look you gotta clean yourself up. Your gonna take a shower, k? Your soakin wet. Meantime Im gonna find you some food all rite?

Stormer groand like getting up was the last thing in the world she wanted to do.

COME ONNNNN I said to her & I kinda hoysted her up till she was sittin on the edge of the bed. Now she was coffing again bad! Your gonna feel better if you get a hot shower.

Stormer seemed so week. I bet she was deeXXxx deehidroXXXXXXFUckin typeriter peace of shit! Stormer was week prolly from having nothin to drink for a long time so I had to help her stand up. After that she went to take a shower & I went to see what was goin on in the frige.

Well there wasnt much but I found a can of soup in the cubberd. Easy enuf. I figured while it was heatin up I should do Stormer a faver & change her damp & discusting sheets.

Now before you think I went all soft you gotta realize it wood of SUCKED to make her go back to bed in soakin wet sheets. No frend a mine sleeps gross like that, shit. Sure she wood of done the same for me.

I could heer the coffing coming from the bath room while I made the bed & then Stormer comes out in a cloud of steem. Shes got a towel on & looks perked up.

How ya doin? I ask her.

Better I think she says! I can breeth a lot clearer.

She coffs so I am not convinsed.

I toss the blanket over top of the bed. Its not perfect but its fresh & clean!

Get some new pjamas on cuz I got some lunch for you I tell her before I go to check on the soup. Its boyling. At the last minnit I find some bread & make her some toast.

Stormer shuffles in lookin improoved in clean clothes at least. But then she plunks into a kitchen chair folds her arms on the table top & puts her head down like a little kid.

I serv a bowl of soup & toast rite next to her & she doesnt move.

Man. This is serius.

For a minnit I think, I better call Pizzazz for reenforsemints. But then I think NAH I GOT THIS!

Stormer I anounst. Cmon Im takin you to the clinic.

She didnt say yes & she didnt say no. She just sort of layd there witch was the worst.

Look you should have some of this soup here. Then we can go.

She didnt move.

Stormer, you suck! Im tryin to help you! I said. I couldnt help it, I was mad. I kicked a chair. The 1 she was sitting in. That got her atenshun.

She looked up & moand.

The soup! I shouted. I made it for you & you hafta try some. Im not kidding around.

Stormer looked at me all sad but she also reached for a spoon & took a sip.

There hows that? I asked proud of my cooking skills.

Stormer nodded weekly & said thank you & took another spoon full. She had a little more & after a minnit she stopped eating & stared at me.

Your done all reddy?

She nodded & then another coffing fit burst out of her & I could see my idea to go to the clinic was a pretty kickass one.

I found some shoes for Stormer & who cares if I made her go to the clinic in her pjamas. What ever. Shes sick for godsake. I drove her there & walked her in & we were waiting around FOR EVER.

Dont these fuckin clinics know their for people who are SICK & cant reely wait around? Shit! Stormer was pail & sweaty & shaking & these clinic fuckers were lucky she was still alive when they called her name!

Mary Phillips? says a nurs. I never will get used to heering her called that.

Cmon Stormer I say taking her hands to pull her up out of the chair. Once shes standing I ask, you want me to go in with you or what?

Im ok, she says, the liar. & is coffing again.

The nurs takes her away & I get about 10 pages into a magzine before Stormers back again with some kinda paper in her hand. She looks terribul like somebuddy that HASNT been sleepin all day long tho I know she has.

What happind? I ask her & we walk out to the parkin lot.

She hands me the paper. I got bronkitis she says, so I have to take this stuff. Can we stop at the drug store?

Yah we can go I tell her.

She sinks in the pasinger seat in my car & falls asleep. When I pull up to the CVS I take the paper from her hand & leave her there to rest. I drop off the perscripshin at the counter & I get some other stuff while Im waitin. New boxa tishoos. Coff drops. Jinger ail. More soup cans. Copple cans a pine apple rings shes always whining for.

Back at the perscripshin counter I get this medesin from the guy there. Whats the deal, whats the direcshuns for this? Im takin care of a frend I say.

This is Codeen coff syrip, the man says & he shows me the lable. Mary takes this every 4 to 6 hours – 2 teaspoons. Under stand?

I notis a little measuring cup comes with the bottle of syrip. Easy enuf!

I pay for the perscripshin & all the other goodys Ive got & head back to the car. No ones kidnapt Stormer so thats a good sine. Shes still rite where I left her!

She reely does look shitty & I feel bad for her. With out makeup on she looks extra pail. I reech through lotsa blue curls to feel the back of her neck. Its still very hot & her hair & skin are wet again. Her chin dropt to her chest witch does NOT look comfterbul so I just drive & drive to get her home fast.

Shes so sick she forgot to wear a dazy in her hair. So weerd to see her with out it & a little bit sad.

There in the car I deside – I am gonna nurs this poor kid to helth!

I am like a super hero! HA!

I park & hafta wake Stormer & walk her back inside. Cmon Limp Lizrd! I say to her & I laff at my own joke. She reely is limp! Not sure she wood of made it if I didnt put my arm around her & drag her in. I push her into the sofa, make her sit down.

Lissen up Stormer I say. I promis Im gonna get you better, k?

Stormer smiles a little. Thanks Roxy she says.

I get the medesin out & look closely at the cup & I am like a sientist as I poor out the syrip carfully up to the line that says 2T. I smell it, seems kinda gross. OK Stormer drink this I tell her & put the cup in her hand.

She takes it like a shot & I smile cuz it doesnt seem like all that long ago when I showd her how to do reel shots at a bar on her 21 birthdy.

You want some more soup? You need to eat some thing.

Nooo she moans Im not hungry. & then I know I hafta get out the big guns.

Look I got you these pine apple rings you like. I held up a can.

Ah! I know I got her then cuz she gets an excited spark in her eyes. Well maybe I could try just the 1 ring she says.

Like hell your gettin 1 ring I think to myself & I put 3 in a bowl & then I get a REELY good idea. Into the freezer I go & of course shes got all these ice creems in there so I pick straw berry (most helthy) & put a big ol scoop on the top of the pine apple. Try to resist THAT Stormer I say in my head!

I put the pine apple sunday in her hands & she looks like its chrismas day or some thing. Wooden you know? She finishes it ALL.

Who kicks ass! Thats rite – ME!

Lissen, I got this all figured out & its gonna work perfect. Stormers so sick Im gonna give her this Codeen every 4 hours. Why wait for 6 rite? Im gonna nock this bronkitis rite outta her. I set a kitchen timer for 4 hours.

Now I say. You wanna sleep here on the couch?

Im not tired she says & I almost laff in her face cuz she looks like shes gonna fall asleep this very minnit!

You need to take a nap. Or rest or some thing!

Where are you gonna be? she asks. She sounds extra sad & is moping. Nobuddy mopes better than Stormer. Shes a pro.

Im gonna be rite here on this couch I say. I turn on the TV. Look theres a Golden Girls marothon on. Cmon you wanna watch it?

Stormer nods.

OK but you gotta REST you heer me? I put a pillo on my lap & made her put her head down on it & I pull a nitted blanket over top of her.

These are some funny ol broads I say lookin at the TV.

I look down & Stormer is all reddy asleep.

I tricked her again. DAM IM GOOD!11!

So then I watch a lot of Golden Girls. Stormer gets hot & damp & shivery rite there in my lap but then just as fast she cools off a little. She hasnt coffed once.

When the kitchen timer rings I am releved cuz Im hungry & I want to strech my legs. But first I do the most importent thing witch is to put medesin into Stormer so I poor her little shot glass up to the 2T & wake her up.

Once shes taken it I find some stuff for myself in Stormers frige. Shes got 1 bunch of graps (my favorit) on the virg of going bad so I pick the good ones off into a bowl for myself & throw the rest away. I also found some cheez & crackers so that was pretty good.

Roxy? went a small & skrachy voice.

Yah what? I said comin back to the livin room. Stormer was lookin at me all bleery eyed like when shes drunk (that only takes about 2 drinks, HA! Stormers a lite wait!).

I feel dizzy, shes goin.

Well you gotta rest. Lay down all reddy. I sit in my spot again & she puts her head down & settles in for nap #2. Good thing I have my graps with me this time I think to my self!

Stormer moand.

I patted her back.

She mumbled sumthin about how her mama ussed to do that & she fell asleep soon after.

So we went on like this. It got dark & I was sleeping too. But I set the kitchen timer so every 4 hours Stormer got her meds. Ever since I didnt heer 1 coff out of her! Yea!

& then things turned bad.

I was dead asleep & it was dark out. I didnt even feel her get up or any thing but suddenly I herd the pounding of feet on the floor running. Followd by an even worst sound of her retching.

Not the best way to be woken up lemme tell you!

But I got up rite away & SHIT it was worst than I thought!

Im gonna spare you the gory deetals but let me just say I had to watch where I stept. I followd the trail till I found Stormer neeling on the floor of her room with her hands clampd over her mouth & making some godawful noises.

I hooked my hands under her arm pits & picked her up. Shit Stormer! You do that in the bath room! Cmon, I said droppin her off in front of the toylit where she puked her guts out. I held her hair back.

Well I was just thinkin about Stormers 21 birthday & not gonna lie, it ended sumthin like this!

Lotsa nites out with Pizzazz end this way too! HA!

So for a wile I was trapt in the bath room with Stormer & holding her hair in a pony tale. I wood pat her back & say incoraging things like your ok & atta girl & barf it all up, youll feel better.

Trouble was it wasnt stopping.

This was outta my control.

I flushed the toylit & grabbed a scrunchy from Stormers vanity & twisted it around her hair. Dont move! I said to her.

She puked again.

SHIT!

I needed help.

I ran to the kitchen & called Pizzazz.

I was mopping the floor when she got there. She wasnt alone either. Jetta was 1 step behind.

Bloody hell Rox! Jetta said. I never seen you so much as touch a mop in me life!

Can it Jetta! I yelled. I wasnt happy about mopping either. I pointed the mop at her all angry. You want this mop up your ass or what!

Jetta came at me wavin her fists but Pizzazz pushed her out of the way. Shut your faces, both of you! she said. Wheres Stormer?

I jerked my thum in the direcshun of the bath room & the sounds of Stormers sickness ansered everybuddys question. To my supprise it was Jetta who went in first to check on her.

Ello love, we herd Jetta say as we followed her to the bathroom. Oh-oh looks like someones got a gippy tummy.

Me & Pizzazz stuck our heads in the door. Jetta was running the sink & soaking wash cloths in cold water.

Clear off you 2! she said to us before neeling behind Stormer. She held a cold cloth to Stormers forehead & layd another on the back of her neck. You look like youve been dragged thru a hedg back wards! she said with a gentler sound in her voice that was so strang to heer cuz she never talks like that to ME!

Me & Pizzazz figured Jetta got things under control so we went back to the livin room.

I thott you said she had bronkitis! Pizzazz was screeming at me for no reson.

She does! I said back.

For fuck sake thats not bronkitis! Bronkitis is coffing & shit! Pizzazz said it like I didnt all reddy know!

Well she had all that & now she has this new thing with the puking!

Sudenly the kitchen timer started to ring.

Whats that about? asked Pizzazz.

Shit its time for her medesin I said & I went to get the bottle. Pizzazz watched me from a distince as I poured the syrip into the cup.

HEY BRIT I called out.

Hey wot Yank? Jetta called back.

She pukin or what? Things had gone quiet in there & I was hope full.

Not at the moment Jetta said so I brott the cup of medesin to the bath room.

When I came in the room Stormer was slumpt back against Jettas chest. Stormer lookt pail & horribul & there were tears rolling down her face but at least was calm & no longer barfing. Jetta was talkin soft to Stormer & rockin her a little. Easy does it ducky relaaaax. Thats it, love.

Im not gonna lie & say I wasnt annoyd when I saw Jetta & she had helpt Stormer even better than I had. I was pissed. This was MY job, MY frend! & my promis to her.

Howd you get her to stop any way? I asked her.

You can do wonders with a cold rag, she said & patted Stormers face with the cloth.

I coudnt resist. I guess the queen mum knows about the healing powers of a cold rag! I anounsed.

As a matter a fact, she started but I cut her off.

Stormer needs to take this I said. I nelt down next to her. Bottoms up ok? I said helpin Stormer hold the cup. She lookt like she lost 5 more pounds, prolly she did rite here in the bath room. She lookt at me with trust in her eyes & sipped at the stiky syrip & soon as she swallowed it all hell broke lose.

Stormer was barfing again.

Lets see if your COLD RAG can get us outta this one! I yelled at Jetta over my shoulder. I was holdin Stormers head over the toylit bowl tryin to help her improove her aim.

She was doin fine till she took whatever bloomin jollop YOU gave er!

In the kitchen I herd Pizzazz screem.

Worst of all she was screemin my name. ROXY!

Yah what! Kinda busy over here! I yelled.

Pizzazz stampd over to the bath room where we all were. She was holdin the Codeen bottle & it was almost empty. She waved it in the air. Your givin her this how often?

Every 4 hours!

& how much?

2 teaspoons! Like they said to do at CVS.

Show me Pizzazz said her voice hard.

I pryd the cup from Stormers fist & showd Pizzazz while Jetta got the job of holding Stormer uprite.

Every 4 hours I showed her & you fill it all the way up to the 2T. See that? I pointed to a line on the top of the cup.

YOU IDIOT Pizzazz blew up. That says TABLE SPOONS not TEA SPOONS! She stole the cup from my hand. See this? THIS line is 2 tea spoons. She pointed to a very low line on the cup.

FUCK I either thought it or I said it & I went from feelin 10 feet tall & a super hero to feelin 10 inches tall & the biggest jerk on the block. No the plannit.

Youve been over dosing her – looks like 3 times over!

So when I relized that I felt the worst. What can we do now? I said just wanting to help & make it all better for Stormer. Pizzazz followd me into the bath room & we stared down at Stormer & Jetta.

Whats happenin? I asked them.

Stormer was laying back against Jetta limp & maybe even asleep. Jetta was workin her magic with the cold rag! Weerdo.

She cant possbly yack up another thing Jetta said. Theres nuthin left.

For once I could admit Jetta was rite. Of course I didnt. But Stormer barely ate the hole day & now seemed weeker than ever. Lets get her to bed & then we can figure out what to do I said. I bent down to help Jetta lift Stormer but she seemd so small & light in my arms I just carried her myself.

Stormer clung on to me & her skin was cool & clammy feelin. Jetta! I said & I was glad when Jetta relised that I wanted her to turn the covers down on Stormers bed so we could tuck her in.

I layd down Stormer & coverd her up in blankets & sheets. She was awake & so I sat on the edge of the bed for a minnit. I lookt over at Pizzazz who seemd far away leaning in the bed room doorway. Jetta was near the foot of the bed.

Can you guys see if theres any tee or juce? She prolly needs to drink, rite? I said. Mostly I wanted them to go away & quit starin at me so I could say what I needed to say to Stormer.

Lucky me they lisened & left.

Stormers bangs were jack'd up. I fixed em.

Stormer I said. She lookt at me with a weerd look in her eyes. I fucked up Stormer. Its my falt that you got sick like that. I hope you know I was just tryin to help.

I was rubbing her belly with out meaning to.

Stormer lookt at me & lookt past me. Its like gold she said.

I stared at her. What is?

You are she said.

What the fuck Stormer! Whatre you talkin bout? I leaned a little closer to heer her better cuz her voice was soft. She reached up & pulled reel gentil on a peace a my hair.

Your like gold she said again. Golden! She had a soft stupid smile on her face.

I didnt know if I wanted to laff at her or be terrifyd! A little a both.

Then she said sumthin crazy.

Here comes gold, glitter & gold…

Fuck! Stormer! Not Jem! You reely ARE sick. I shook my head at her. Its the Codeen! Fuck! Your high on it! Pizzazz! I called out.

Pizzazz & Jetta returnd with more drinks than Stormer could ever possbly drink.

Whats goin on? Pizzazz asked me.

Stormers high or sumthin. Shes talkin bout Jem!

Jem? Jetta cried out.

Pizzazz made a discusted noise & added, This is serius.

Stormer was still lookin at me & mumblin about glitter & gold all dopey.

Look what Pizzazz & Jetta brott you Stormer! I said. Its sumthin to drink! I tryd to make it sound excitin.

We made Stormer drink & we then decided to let her sleep while we pland our next move.

So we made our big plan. You reddy? The plan was we were gonna SLEEP ON IT. Stormer needed to sleep out of that state she was in & the rest of us were pretty tired too. So Pizzazz curld up on the couch & Jetta took a chair & they dozed off in the livin room. I slept in a big & soft chair in Stormers room cuz it was my idea that somebuddy should stay with her in case she needed sumthin.

The next morning the sun was comin up but it wasnt the sun that woke me up. It was all the coff coff coffing! It was back & it was worst than ever! Shit I had a secret hope that even tho I OD'd her on the Codeen stuff that it wood somehow have gotten rid of her coff! No dice!

I went over to Stormer & shoved an extra pillo under her head so she was almost sitting up. Somehow she coffed a little less & we both fell asleep for a couple more hours.

When I woke up again it was cuz I herd Pizzazz & Jettas voices in the next room. I got up to see what they were doing. Hey I said.

Hows Stormer? Pizzazz asked.

She was coffing again I said.

WE KNOW Jetta said all annoyd.

What about now? Pizzazz asked.

Shes sleepin still, I went.

What are we gonna do with her? went Pizzazz.

Better have a look & see how bad off she is, Jetta said & she went to the door and tappt on in. Stormer? she went & she let herself in.

This sucks I said & I pushed past Pizzazz and found some seerial in Stormers kitchen.

We herd Stormer coffing hard. I lookt at Pizzazz & tossd her the box of seerial.

Pizzazz put her hand in the box & we had brekfist. It really sucks she said. I cant believe you—

Put some hot water on, said Jetta & Ive never been so happy to see Jetta EVER. I didnt need Pizzazz remindin me AGAIN how bad I messed up takin care of Stormer.

What happind? I asked her.

Well I nocked her up and—

Pizzazz & me lookt at each other & let me tell you we were SHOCKT!

You did WHAT! says Pizzazz.

I nocked her up, Jetta starts again & rolld her eyes. Oh you stupid Americans & your stupid frayses. I WOKE her up, ya wankers.

SPEEK ENGLISH all reddy! I said annoyd. Sometimes I have no idea what the fuck Jettas sayin.

Jetta put a tee pot on the stove & ignord me. Poor chicky, looks like shes lost aff a stone!

So much for her speekin English, rite?

Is she any better? Pizzazz asked.

Her coffs bloody awful! I thott some tee might help.

So Jetta made the tee & she went back into the room with Pizzazz & me trailing behind. Stormer fell asleep again & her breethin was weerd & weezy. I touched her forhead & she was burning. I rolld some of the covers off her & I just new it that the sheets were gonna be soaked thru again.

They were.

Fuck I whispered.

Is she dying? Pizzazz asked, totally freakd out.

What are we gonna do? Jetta asked & set the tee on the nite stand.

Theres only 1 thing to do I said.

We are each gonna say goodbye to her in our own speshul way Pizzazz said. I swear to you she had glassy lookin eyes! Stormer, you always made the best brekfist sandwitches…

Shut the fuck up Pizzazz! I said. Shes alive & we gotta take her to the hospital!

I ate ospitals! Jetta moand.

Now I got pissed. I pointed to Jetta. OK so YOU want to leave her here to die. I pointed to Pizzazz. & YOU want to plan her funeral. Fuck that shit! Stormer, wake up! I shook her awake.

Stormer blinkd. Roxy? Pizzazz, Jetta? Whats everybuddy - She started coffing & weezing & cut herself off.

Lissen I said. Your getting worst. We gotta get you to the hospital.

Stormer pulled the sheet over her head & groand. Ohhh! I dont wanna go to the hospital.

Pizzazz stept up. Were not asking you Stormer. You hafta go.

Yah Yank Jetta added on.

& so we dragged Stormer outta bed & made her shower & put on clean clothes. We herd the hair dryer runnin for a long time & Stormer was coffing nonstop.

Come outta there Stormer, Im serius! I said.

But my hair, she whined from behind the bath room door.

Fuck, Stormer! Were goin to the HOSPITAL not the Hollywood Bowl! I say.

Pizzazz is standin around doin nothin (what else is new!) so I say, can ya do something with her hair all reddy? Im gonna make us some coffey.

Pizzazz frowns & she opens her mouth to say sumthin.

She does it for you, I snapt before I hedded to the kitchen.

Pizzazz shreekd.

But you know what? Next thing I new Stormer followed Pizzazz to the couch & let Pizzazz brush her hair out. & I watchd out of the corner of my eye to see if Pizzazz was bein a jerk about it but no to my supprise she was payshunt & gentil. Pizzazz parted Stormers hair & brayding it into 2 pig tales.

I almost laffed at how kinder garden she lookt, but then I cott Pizzazz feelin Stormers neck to see her temprachure. It musta been reel bad cuz Pizzazz lookt me rite in the eye & said Forget the coffey we gotta go.

The 4 of us piled into Pizzazzs car. Im in the back seet with Stormer & I can see she hasnt put on any makeup except for the red lip stick she always wears & even that, all its doing is makin her skin look extra pail & white.

Stormer, Pizzazz anounsed as she lookt over at Stormer. You puke in this car & your a dead woman you heer me?

I wont, Stormer went, her voice tiny.

She kept her promis JUST BARELY!

If I thott waitin at the CLINIC was bad, you shoulda seen us 4 waiting at the ER! It was a fuckin nitemare. But Im gonna tell you sumthin – I got the payshunts of a SAINT compared to PIZZAZZ! After 5 minnits in the waiting room Pizzazz tryd to slip a nurs a $50 to get Stormer seen sooner.

Parently they dont do that in hospitals.

I sat in a chair next to Stormer & she put her head on my sholder. Shes hot & swetty & still coffing. I give her coff drop after coff drop.

Jettas stir crazy. She cant even sit still in the waitin room. Shes pacing all around & lookn nervis. Sumtimes she picks up a magzine & thums thru it before getting bord & pacing again.

Pizzazz goes to the nurs & ups the anty to $100. Now a security gard comes up to her & tells her she cant bribe nurses.

DONT YOU KNOW WHO I AM? shreeks Pizzazz & now theres a seen goin on in the waiting room. Jetta moves next to Pizzazz & chimes in.

Were the Misfits Yank not just some commoners! shes shouting.

I call across the waiting room. You idiots! Dont get us kicked outta here!

There are lotsa people in the waitin room & now there eyes are on us. Weve now caused a seen & introduced our self to the whole waitin room. I herd wispers of THE MISFITS.

A lady next to me says Are you reely from the Misfits?

In the flesh I say.

I sine a quick ottograff for the ladys kid & dam if I didnt make her day!

Somebuddy else has the nerve to ask for Stormers.

Shes not signin nuthin today I say before Stormer can say a word. Fuckin A. Some people dont have no bownderys.

Somebuddy else comes past us & I see hes got scrubs on & so I get his atenshun. Please I say. How much longer we gotta wait! Look how sick she is.

Stormer coffs for emfasis.

Did they take your temprachure when you got in? he asks.

They did but shes gotten worst just sittin here. Anyone can see.

Im just a transporter but lemme see what I can do. Whats your name? he asks.

I almost say Stormer for her but she croaks out Mary Phillips in between coffing. Good thing I didnt say.

The man smiles & is frendly & wishes us luck & sends a nurs over to take Stormers temprachure again.

The nurs looks supprised when she sees the thermo meter. She looks at her chart & back at Stormer. 104 she says. Thats high. Mary if youll just follow me.

1-0-fuckin-4! SHIT! Now theyre finally taking us serius here!

Pizzazz & Jetta join us as the nurs takes us back to an examining room. Its creepy & Stormer looks nervis as shes laying on a paper coverd table. We are all huddled around her & Jettas trying not to act like she hates it here.

A dr shows up to lissen to Stormers lungs & hes going hmmmmm. Hes got a stetho scope & he lissens on the front of her & the back & keeps askin her to breeth deep witch she can barely do with out coffing up a storm.

Mary we need to do a chest xray I dont like what I heer on the left side if youll just follow me.

& with that shes gone & we 3 Misfits are starin at each other horrifyd.

Jetta starts pacing round the small space. Its too small for pacing but she does it anyway.

Doesnt like what he herd on the left side? What the fuck is that? Is she dying or what? says Pizzazz

Im sittin in a chair & holding my head. Pizzazz please dont give us the Stormer-made-the-best-brekfist-sandwitch speech again! I say.

I feel shitty cuz what if I made her sicker when I gave her the medesin wrong?

It seemd like a long time before Stormer returnd with the dr. Someone was reading the xrays & the dr brott her back to us & kept on with the tests. He put a cuff around her skinny little arm to check blood presher & said it was low.

Somebuddy else past a file to the dr & he examins it. Xray test results.

Just as I thott he says. Mary you have newmoanya. Were going to have to admit you. Your also saveerly deehidrayted. Id like to get you on fluids rite away.

& then there was this part that we 3 all couldnt stand when some teck came in to hook Stormer up to IVs. Jetta covered her eyes when the needle went in & I cant say I blame her. It took a copple trys cuz her vanes were all sucky from bein deehidrayted. I couldnt stop looking tho cuz it was terribul. Pizzazz? Pizzazz was the strangest site of them all. With my own eyes I saw it or I wouldnt of believed it. She was holdin Stormers hand.

Stormer was very calm.

Another teck came soon & took blood & again I watched & Jetta left the room fast lookin pailer than usual.

Then we see a familiar face, its the transporter who helped us get in. Hey man! I say slappin him 5. Thanks for the hookup!

No problem! He smiles & turns his atenshun to Stormer. Mary? Looks like your stayin with us huh?

Stormer nods & I watch as hes helpin her so gentil to her feet then into a wheel chair. Weve got a room all reddy for you upstares he says as he moves her IV bag from the poll on the bed to the poll on the chair.

Thanks she says softly.

Dont worry youll be well taken care of here he says as be begins to wheel her out into the hall. We all trale very close behind & are soon joind by Jetta whos been pacing in the hall. Looks like you got some very good frends with you today Mary.

The best, came Stormers soft reply. & then she was coff coffing again & we didnt try to talk to her after that too much.

We get to the room that will be Stormers for the next 5 days. Its very white & theres a pink & blue & yello stripe curtin. Stormer gets the bed by the window & some other ladys on the other side of the curtin by the door. Its only a matter of HOURS before that lady asks to be movd to another room thanks to US & we get Stormer a room to her self! HA!

So Stormers in bed & still lookin awfull. Shes alreddy got the 1 IV in & they put a hole nother 1 in for medesin. Pizzazz is wachin & takin everything in. Jetta finds a magzine & burys her face in it & I can tell she hates all of this stuff the worst. Stormer has a light blue hospital gown on & the 2 wires are goin into the bend of her rite arm & her hand. The left arm has band aids from blood tests & messt up trys to get the IVs in.

Stormers a tuff kid, she doesnt get upset about the needles.

Im the only 1 brave enuf to ask, Does it hurt?

Not too bad, she says.

Whats it feel like then?

Like sumthin reely cold is going in. She shivers & her voice sounds weak & breethin shallo.

The drs back with sumthin new, some kinda clear tubing & some weerd tank. Mary your blood oxagin levels low so were going to put you on oxagin for a little bit, lets see if we can get those levels up.

The dr slips the tubing up her nose & hooks it over her ears & shes silent but I can tell she does not like it 1 bit & her hands clench into fists. Relax & breeth he says & she trys. Thats good.

Jetta gets up & heads for the door fast. Hey where ya goin? I call after her but shes all reddy gone.

The dr tells Stormer to rest up & leaves. So now Pizzazz & me are starin at each other. We lookt at Stormer who is about as mizrabul as ever & shivering. I tuck the blanket over her but its thin & not doin much.

Pizzazz picks up the nurs call buttin & starts pressin it 100 times. After a moment a nurs shows up.

Pizzazz stands up. Hey can we get some more blankets in here? Shes freezing her ass off!

Sertanly, the nurs says & she comes back a few minnits later with extra blankets.

Me & Pizzazz tuck em over Stormer.

Maybe we should get some stuff from Stormers house for her, I say. Some pjamas, tooth brush, what else you want Stormer?

Can you get my walk man & my good head phones? & my journal? & the demo cassets we did last week? Stormer says & then yawns.

You shouldnt be workin Stormer. Your sposed to be restin! I said.

I think its a great idea if she works on the songs, Pizzazz goes.

Shut the hell up Pizzazz! I say.

Stormer can barely keep her eyes open shes so tired. Dont fite, she mumbles.

Hey wheres Jetta? I said.

Soon my question is ansered as we heer shouts & see Jetta whiz past the door way in a wheel chair!

Shit! goes Pizzazz. Looks like a pretty good time!

She steps out in the hall to join in the fun.

So its just me & Stormer in the room. Her skin is white & so are the sheets. The only colors are the blue of her pig tales & the brite red lipstick shes wearing & it makes her look pailer. For a minnit I think Stormers asleep, but then I heer her voice witch is very very small.

Can you maybe bring me some more pine apple rings?

Ya we can do that, I say.

She smiles a little & dozes off.

& so I step out into the hall & see Pizzazz is now sittin in a wheel chair of her own & she & Jetta are racin thru the hall way! Their both zippin around at full speed & Jettas winnin but its close. If I wasnt so worried for Stormer Id of been all over that. There screaming & laffing & nurses & drs are dodging them left & rite! Its great. But there is sumthin importent to do so I stick out my hand like Im hailin a cab.

HEY HEY I screem.

CANT STOP YANK! Jetta yells & they whip past me. They round a corner & the whole hallway is 1 big skware & theyve been goin in circles around it. So I wait for em to come around again & this time Im reddy.

RACE YOUR ASSES TO THE CAR & GO PICK UP STORMERS STUFF! I shout.

You got it! Pizzazz goes.

Everything she said before & PINE APPLE RINGS TOO! I shout after them as they disappear round the bend. I hope they got that last part.

Stormer is asleep the hole time they are gone. Im hangin out & watchin some TV when Jetta & Pizzazz return. They got arm loads of stuff!

Ello duckys! Jetta shouts.

Shes sleepin for fucks sake! I shout back & Stormer starts wakin up. She coffs.

Pizzazz tosses all the stuff they hauled up onto a chair & grabs the nurs call buttin & starts pressin it.

The nurs rushes in. Can I help you?

She coffed, She just coffed! Pizzazz anounses.

Stormer coffs again.

SEE? Pizzazz is nearing a panick. Isnt she here in this fuckin hospital to STOP coffing?

I can see youre very worryd for your frend but please under stand, says the nurs. Its good for her to coff & it breaks up her chest conjestin.

Are you sure you know what your talkin about? Pizzazzs eyes are narro & shes givin the nurs a dirty look.

I promis miss. Were doing our best for your frend! Dont be scared of the coffing, its a normal part of getting well, she explans.

Fine says Pizzazz all annoyd.

The nurs turns to Stormer. Can I get you anything Mary? Some water?

Ill take some water, says Pizzazz raising her hand.

The nurs shakes her head & goes to get a pitcher.

In the meantime Im checkin out the loot Jetta & Pizzazz have brott in. They got all kinda stuff. Pjamas & robe, cosmeticks, casetts & other music stuff. Yesss they rembered the pine apple rings!

Jetta places a big ol vase of dazys next to Stormers bed witch makes her smile the most weve seen all week. Its from all of us, love! she says. Theres a baloon comin out the flower vase. Its pink & it says ITS A GIRL.

Its a girl? Seriusly you guys? I say.

Pizzazz shrugs. Its what they had down in the gift shop.

We very well couldnt get ITS A BOY now could we? Jetta added.

I roll my eyes at them. They are hope less!

I like it says Stormer. What a push over.

Its starting to get dark out & sumthin interesting hapins. Dinner is served & we all gather round to see what it is! If theres 1 thing we Misfits love its food!

Theres a cup of chickn noodle soup & 2 peaces of bread, a peace of meat loff, an orange, & a small cup of ice creem.

Pizzazz starts buttering a peace of bread & eatin it. Jetta reaches for the other 1 & I slap her hand.

HEY I say annoyd. Thats Stormers. Cmon!

No its ok, Stormer says. Im not hungry at all.

Pizzazz reaches for the dam call buttin again.

Here comes the nurs.

NURS! Pizzazz shouts. Shes refusing to eat!

Is that rite Mary? No appatite? The nurs is writin on a clip bord.

Stormer shakes her head.

I hope you can try to eat a little. You dont have to finish it all ok? Just do your best.

The nurs leaves us & I reach for the orange & start peelin it. I know I can get Stormer to try some. I hand her a segmint & she eats in ottomaticly. I have 1 myself then give her the next 1 & the next. Stormer eats almost the hole orange & skips ahead to ice creem, HA!

After a wile, the nurs comes to tell us visiting hours are over.

What? Why? I ask. Cant we just stay?

Only Marys family can stay, the nurs explans.

But we ARE her family, I say.

Bloody rite, were her sisters! shouted Jetta.

Ixnay on the ittish-bray! Pizzazz hisst, jabbin Jetta with her elbo.

The nurs is on to us. Im sorry ladys, you can return at 9 tomorro.

After all that Jetta looks kinda releved & Pizzazz seems reddy to go. Me on the other hand. Im lagging behind at Stormers bed side.

Hey I said. Looks like we gotta go. You gonna be ok?

Ill be fine, I promis.

You sure? I asked her.

Stormer nodded. Ill be sleeping & so will you! I kept you up haff the nite anyway. You must be tired.

Was nuthin.

Thanks for everything she said.

I playd with the end of one of her pig tales & was silent.

Dont look so sad. Im where I need to be to get better. Rite? It was your idea after all!

Ya it was, I said. It was a pretty good idea. Ill see you tomorrow k?

Ok. She patted my hand & I left.

I took 1 more look at Stormer witch was a sad lookin site with all those wires & stuff stuck to her. All scronny lookin & white.

Cmon Roxy, Pizzazz said & the 3 of us went to the car not sayin much.

When we were in the car Pizzazz wiped her face with her hands. She looks like shit, she said.

It sucks, I said. We did the rite thing rite? Takin her to the hospital?

Yah we did. Much as I ate ospitals Jetta said.

Whats this by the way? I said & I pulled a small card out of my bag. Who the fuck is Jim & Sandy?

Yea well Jim & Sandy had SO MANY flowers all reddy, Pizzazz said.

Theyll not miss the 1! Jetta added.

Pretty good you guys. I laffed & we drove home.

The next morning we came into Stormers room like a buncha gang busters rite at 9 & when brekfist was bein served.

HEY KIDDIE were here, says Pizzazz!

Looks like ya made it thru the nite, ducky! goes Jetta.

Whats for brekfist? I said.

Stormers eyes lit up when she saw us & she smiled. I saw she changed into her own pjamas that Jetta & Pizzazz had brott for her. It was a one sholder nite gown that left the other sholder free for all her wires & things. Shes also got her hair down outta those dopey pig tales & so her hairs kinda flat on top but fallin all wavy. She looks a bit more like her self.

Exept for the oxagin tubes helpin her to breeth.

Hi! she said.

I can see shes clummsy with the eating cuz shes tryin to eat lefty. All the wires goin into the rite arm must be botherin her. I got cereal, a banana, & coffey, she says.

Here goes Pizzazz with the call buttin again.

A diffrent nurs comes in all cheerful. Can I help you?

Can we get 3 more coffeys? says Pizzazz.

Um, you can get some in the cafeteria down stares, she says.

Pizzazz throws her hands up. Ug, the service around here!

So how ya feelin? I ask.

A little better I think. Im a little bit hungry, she says.

Thats good, I say. I get an idea & get the can of pine apple rings & pop em open & hand her the can.

Stormer beems & plucks a ring outta the can with her fingers & nibbles at it & sinks against her pillo.

You guys dont hafta stay all day, I know Im not much fun to be around, Stormer says & she coffs.

Your not Pizzazz says with a laff.

But were not gonna leave you here alone! Who knows what theyll do to you! I say. Gotta stick up for her cuz she wont stick up for her self.

She smiles a little. I apreshiate it, you guys are sweet.

Pizzazz frowns.

Can I see my walk man for a sec? & the demos? Stormer asks.

Pizzazz pitches them at her (but not at her head HA HA shes bein nice). Stormer pops in a casset & like that she gets us working.

Ive been thinking about speeding up the brige here in Perfection. Whaddaya think?

Yea yea says Pizzazz.

She lissens a little more. Jetta can you come up with a sax line for the instramental brake in Jammin Uptown? It needs sumthin a little extra. She rewinds & lets Jetta have a lissen.

Aw rite, Ill come up with it, Jetta says, tho were all lookin at Stormer like she has 2 heads.

Roxy, what if you start the bass line before Pizzazzs guitar in Jammin? Before anything? Just bass. She rewinds & makes me lissen.

& just like that Stormers got the writing session shes always wanted. She always trys to get us on bord when shes writing & we never have the time or the payshunts to sit down with her. It wasnt even so bad.

It doesnt last long cuz Stormer gets tired lookin all of a sudden. She pulls her head phones off & lays back. It takes me a minnit to notise her skins gone damp & her cheeks are pink.

Im sorry guys Im sorry, she wispers. I have to take a brake. Shes shivering.

I barely hafta touch her to tell the others, Shit! Shes burning up! She was doing so good before.

Pizzazz is rite on the call buttin & gettin the nurs in here.

The nurs is takin her sweet time. I think shes on to us. 5 minnits passes & still no nurs. Pizzazz gets up to go & find her.

Stormer wimpers.

Jetta I announs as I try to cover Stormer better with the blankets. Nows a good time for your cold fuckin rag!

Uh rite, Jetta says & goes to the bath room & I heer the sink running.

Hang on Stormer, I say.

Ill be ok, she wispers. Her eyes are closed.

Jettas back with a damp wash cloth & she sits next to Stormer. Oook love, its a little chilly, she warns & presses it to Stormers forhead & coverin her eyes.

We heer the sounds of Pizzazzs heels on the hallway tile. Shes got the nurs.

Mary, your feever is up again? Lets get your temperchur.

The nurs raises the wet cloth just enuf that Stormer can see & puts a thermo meter in her mouth. Somebuddys good with first aid here, she says & smiles.

Its like I always say, you can work bloody wonders with a cold rag! Jetta says shuggery sweet & winks in my direction.

Thats rite! agrees the nurs.

You have GOT to be kidding me! I shout. I stamp over to the windo & look out.

Stormer sleeps for mosta the day, just wakin up to get checked out by the dr & the nurs. The good news is they take her off the oxagin cuz shes doin better. Other than that. Well we 3 Misfits just spent the day worryin.

The next day Stormers less tired after a good nites sleep. Things are almost seemin better until sumthin terrible happins!

Theres a nock at the door but the visiter doesnt wait for us to say COME IN. He just barges rite in. Like always.

Well if it isnt my paydirt. Hello Misfits, sneers Eric Raymond. When were any of you going to pick up the phone & call me about this?

Fuckin Eric. What a peace a shit! He hasnt even so much as lookt at Stormer. Hes holdin up a brand new copy of Cool Trash Magzine & lookin to Pizzazz.

I see the cover foto before I can begin readin the head line.

Its bad.

Its Stormer.

Shes wearin what we brott her to the hospital in. Leggings & an oversized sweat shirt that fits her like a tent. She looks pail except for red lipstick & shes got those dum pig tales. You dont see much a me, but Im behind her, leading her into the hospital with an arm around her. Shit! I hope nobuddy thinks I went soft!

It doesnt feel like this foto was taken only 3 days ago.

I remember. Stormer was kweezy from the ride. Shes got a hand on her belly. SHIT. It looks like…

STORMER OF THE MISFITS, NOCKED UP? Pizzazz screeches, readin the head line.

Stormer turns so red. Oh no. Oh no no no! she wales.

Our deer sweet Stormer? Up the duff? Jetta laffs. It could be worse love, they coulda got a picture of ya spewin in the parking lot!

Page 7, said Eric with a scowl.

We made head lines in Cool Trash before but not for sumthin like this. & even when were in there for behavin badly, you can bet the fotos show us lookin GOOD wile doin it! This is sumthin new & sumthin none of us like. One of our own lookin stript down & vulnerble.

This is bullshit! I say.

So whos the lucky guy Stormer? goes Eric.

I think its Jetta! says Pizzazz & she snorts with laffter.

Stormer & me had a bit of hows your father 1 nite in the back of the Misfits van, Jetta teezes with a wink. Sorry love, shoulda brott me rubbers along!

Stormer wimpers & buries her face in a pillo.

Im so mad at Eric Im seein red.

I sock him in the sholder. Ass hole! I call him. Shes not nocked up, shes got newmoanya!

CHRIST Roxy! he shouts rubbin his arm.

I smile proud of my self.

Newmoanya. riiiiiite. With an ITS A GIRL baloon? he says.

THAT Errrrric deer, is a LONG STORY, says Pizzazz & she gets up & Jetta follows. They each take 1 of his arms & begin to walk him rite back out the room. I heer Pizzazzs voice from the hall way & its extra sweet like she does. How wood you like to take a long walk off a short peer?

Erics mad. You have an album coming out at the end of the month & there are tracks that havent been WRITTEN yet!

Dont WORRY about it Errric! Pizzazz purrs.

Stormer & me dont see any of them for the rest of the day.

Or the next.

But at least Pizzazz calls Stormer to tell her she & Jetta are workin on an extenshun on our next albums release. Finally she gets it. We cant make Stormer work like this. We just need her to get better.

Its her 4 day here & its waring on her. The Cool Trash fotos sertanly didnt help things. She looks so fuckin sad & Im runnin out of good ideas to cheer her up & get her better. I still havent forgotton my promis I made her. Im gonna get you better I said. & Id failed her.

Id failed her so hard.

So now Im moping. Im moping just as bad as she is. So bad in fact she calls me out on it.

Whassamatter Roxy?

Oh nuthin.

Thats not true.

I fucked up Stormer. I was sposed to take care of you & insted I made you get sick so bad. & now your here in this stupid hospital & theres nothin I can do about it.

Stormers silent for what feels like a long time.

SEE? Even YOU know its true, I say at her.

& then she bursts into tears. Dont you get it? No ones EVER taken care of me like youve done! No one! Not since, not since Mama & Daddy—Not 1 persons been there for me like you have, not 1 & I dont know what Id do with out you.

This all comes tumblin outta her & lemme tell you Im shockt.

Hey hey dont cry, ok? Stoppit. I give her some tishoos. Shh. Its ok. You dont hafta cry about it. I suck at dealin with the cryin.

Stormer is wipin her eyes & tryin to get it together.

I dont think I did anything very speshul for you Stormer. All I can think of is 1 mistake after another. Im studyin a mark on the toe of one of my shoes.

Thats not true. You did a lotta things for me & Im so great full.

Can I do any thing for you now?

Stormers eyes flash up to the clock & then she looks at me with a small smile. I wood reely like to watch Golden Girls with you. Like we did on my couch.

You liked that? I said. I had no idea. She was sleepin the hole time. Who new she liked that.

Yea, she says & coffs a couple a times.

Thats easy, we can do that. I hop off my chair & wheel her bed sideways like a couch. She laffs & skweels. I put on the TV & sit on the edge of the bed. Golden Girls is gonna start soon. I pat my lap & Stormer scoots over to lay her head down. She looks sleepy. I reech over to her vase of dazys & pick 1 & tuck it behind her ear.

There. Theres Stormer.

Shes asleep before the show even starts & the last feever of her hospital stay spikes & brakes in my lap. I dont push the call buttin I just let it happen. My leggings feel damp but what ever. I pull the blanket over her to keep the warmth in. She wakes a little & coffs a lot. I just rub her back slowly til shes calm.

Shes awake to see only the end credits & theres that familier song, thank you for bein a frend.

Stormer smiles. Thank you, she wispers.

Its nuthin, I say.

##

Special thanks to my trusty beta reader, Zeroninety!


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